How did we end up here?

A question I've asked myself a thousand times.  How on earth did two barely middle-aged (gah, really??  Wasn't I just 23 a few weeks ago??) folks end up here?  Just over a month ago, my husband woke up slurring his words, the left side of his face drooping and his left hand with no grip.  He'd been fighting what we, and his doctor, thought were some nasty seasonal allergies.  How wrong we all were.  A few tests, tears and trembling moments in the ER and we knew our lives were changed forever.  The first blood pressure reading I saw was 191/149.  I'm told it was higher than that the first time they took it.  My big, tough, stoic and nearly unemotional husband asked me to call his mother to come be with him.  How could I blame him?  My first call that morning was to get my mother to come be with me.  I knew in that moment he was as terrified as I was. The words "congestive heart failure" hung in the air like the stench of a freshly manured field. 

It wasn't long at all before our little, local hospital knew he needed more care than they could give him.  They loaded him up in an ambulance for what he calls "the ride that nearly killed me."  The paramedic driving the rig wasted no time getting him to a bigger regional hospital where he received better care than I could have imagined.  His overnight nurse, Jen, was beyond phenomenal.  The rest of the nurses, aides and other caregivers were great too.  But Jen is what every nurse should strive to be.  Smart, honest, approachable, kind, funny and willing to spend the time necessary in explaining all the scary stuff going on.  Jen was the one to really explain all the nitty gritty details of what was going on inside his body.  She hung a bunch of new words in the air:  "transient ischemic attack"  "cardiomyopathy" and a whole bunch of others that are still floating around but haven't sunk in yet.

All of that led to three words that don't get the luxury of just hanging in the air.  "Low sodium diet."  Being the cook of our family, I had to make those words reality right away.  As I thought about my carefully stockpiled cabinets full of canned soups, canned vegetables, dessert mixes and various other items...even the carefully wrapped meat in my freezer, my heart sank in realization that he could eat nearly none of it now.  The more research I did, the more I realized my shopping, cooking, eating and thinking all had to change.  I longed for the luxury of time to process all of this.  I scoured the web looking for websites, blogs, recipes, guidance...anything!  What I did find just was simply lacking to me.  Sure, there are a few really good sites out there.  Megaheart.com is one of the best.  But, everything seemed so geared for folks 20, 30, 40 years older than we are.  It is a very isolating feeling hearing over and over "But he's only FORTY!"  Topping that with some of the crazy ingredients, strange meals and foods that we just would never eat, led me to the creation of this blog. 

My hope is that something I write connects even a little with someone out there feeling lost and alone.  That even one of my recipes finds a home in someone else's kitchen.  That my throw-it-together style of cooking inspires someone else to just wing it in the kitchen.  And, maybe, just maybe I'll make a new online friend or two in this crazy mixed up life.